Kelvin was not one for relationships, he often professed that he has never been in love and does not know what true love is. To this end he preferred to engage in temporary and fleeting dating scenarios that often led him sleeping with someone who was not privy to his plans. This often led to hurt and upset and their part, yet this reinforced his belief that relationships were too complicated, and someone always gets hurt. Kelvin had a reputation and one day his female cousin challenged him to think about why he behaved in this way. Kelvin did not answer at the time, but the question his cousin had asked him led him to an understanding of his fear of relating to others and the rejection he had felt when his parents had separated and his mother moved away leaving him behind.
Over time Kelvin, unconsciously shielded himself from being hurt or from being loved. He feared any sort of attachment where he could be ‘left’, however as a result he became the one that walked away, again and again. This realization was just the start of a process for him, as he decided to engage in counselling to help him move forward.
Like Kelvin, you can use the information you learn about yourself to be and do better. This may require you to step out of your comfort zone and become open and vulnerable to doing internal investigative work.
As well as in our personal lives, self-awareness is a sought-after skill by employers and businesses, who know the benefits of individuals taking responsibility for their progress; assessing their strengths and areas of weakness through being reflective and pro-active.
Remember, self-knowledge places you in a position of power, but it’s what you do with this information that will make the biggest difference.