Cameron and Julia had been married for 8 years and where now in a place of not knowing whether they would stay together for much longer. Communication between them was near non-existent, apart from conversations about everyday matters that involved the children, bills or work. They had received couples counselling before but didn’t keep it up because of the cost.
Cameron found it hard to share his feelings with Julia, as he felt that each time he tried to tell her how he was feeling, Julia interrupted and it turned into an explosive argument. While, Julia felt that Cameron took no responsibility for his actions, placing the blame on her for things not being right in their marriage. Overtime things continued to get worse, and Julia started to confide in a male work colleague who made her feel listened to and respected. Equally, Cameron found what he was seeking on-line, on dating websites. It was never his intention of meeting any of the women, he just enjoyed the conversations and flirting.
Rather than Cameron and Julia taking the time individually to examine their thoughts, feelings and actions and the impact this was having on their relationship, marriage and family life, they retreated into unhelpful behaviours that ultimately could end in lots of pain and hurt. Amidst a massive argument Cameron shouted that he did not know what Julia wanted from him and she admitted the same. Each of them taking time to gain an understand of this could be the start of them moving forward.
What can you learn from Cameron and Julia’s story?
